ACL Reconstruction vs. GI JOE Surgery:

A conversation I had with my brother in regards to my upcoming surgery.  It put a funny light on it, and really took me back to my childhood.  (FYI, Putzer was our childhood terrier, and Sean used to film his action figures using stop action in the back yard.)  ENJOY!

ME: they are gonna drill holes in my bones and thread a tendon to replace my ligament

SEAN:  Just like putting a new rubber-band in a broken GI Joe.  Make sure they get it tight enough or you're leg will be all floppy forever...but not too tight or you won't be able to bend it.

ME: HAHA Im gonna take a GI Joe into my mormon surgeon and tell him just that.

SEAN:Ya. tell him you gotta be able to pull his legs off of his body like between 1 and 1.5 mm. thats the tolerance you want. same for your leg. If we cant pull your leg off like a millimeter or so then it too tight.

ME: omg my coworkers are wondering why im almost pissing myself laughing so hard.

SEAN: Is he gonna have to open your back up with a big screw driver to put the rubber band in?

ME:   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i hope he gets a small rubber band, not a big one he has to tripple over to make it the right size
those never work out right

SEAN: They're ok. I never had any problem with them.you just gotta muke sure all three or four loops of rubber get hooked on right. otherwise you gotta go in for follow up sergury and thats when guys have complications. infections, PTSD, dismemberment, Putzer chomps. you know

ME:  hahah I hate it when the heads fall out right at the las frikkin second...

The body snaps shut and "shit... the head is in my lap and im too uncoordinated to put it back in"

SEAN: I hate it when all the marines are waiting in the damn chopper, taking fire from the enemy, after a hard day of dodging fukin fireworks, and the pilot decides "I think I'll break in half the guys won't mind waiting till Dad gets home so he can fix me and I can fly them outta here!" and then by the time you start filming again it 6 pm instead of 2, the sun has moved, the shadows are all wrong, you're to impatient to wait till tomorow, and now your precious stop action ends up on the "strait to DVD" rack.

instead of grossing 3.4 mil on opening day like it should have.  all thanks to one pilot's weak insides.

he didn't have the guts to complete the mission. no inner resilience

ME: HAHA sean seriously, you should be a stand up comic

Im pissing myself!

SEAN: haha. I know right? :) that'd be so fun. I'm hearing this routine as I'm typing it...