Like sand through my fingers...

Got my tax return yesterday, and promptly bought two money orders to pay the surgery center and the doctors.  Dang.  The good thing is, I have my deductible almost paid... only my co-insurance to go, and I have no idea how I'm going to get that money.  Its in God's hands.  I  pray he helps me somehow.

Oh the Bills

Got a bill from the surgery center, already.  I mean, seriously?  I havn't even gone under the kinfe!  Oh well.  The good news is I did my taxes today, and if  I did them right, Im going to be getting over $1300 back!  And its all going to go straight to the surgery center.  Such is life.  Stupid knee.  Will you ever get better?

I found a really good article that I want to share

This article told it how it is... so I liked it.  I am tired of reading the comments and posts about how "wonderful" surgery was.  I mean, yeah I wish I could believe it, but I've had knee surgery before, just not so extensive.  This one was really good... made it seem more real I guess.  From pre-op, to even recognizing how the poor guy had been compensating his bum knee without even knowing it... check it out.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/398466/what_to_expect_when_a_loved_one_has.html?cat=70

Fitted for my knee brace

Today I ducked out of work and headed to the Cast and brace room at the doctors office.  They fitted me for a post surgery knee brace.  It is big and black and nasty with velcro and buckles like you have on a backback.  There are two little round gadgets at the knee that you can either lock to keep the knee straight, or you can make it so your knee can flex to various degrees.  I got to talking to the woman who was helping me and when I told her about my first surgery, especially the part about how my wooden crutches had no rubber stoppers, and they slipped around, and I had no knee brace, she was shocked! 

Any way, 757 dollars worth of knee brace is in a blood red carry tote in my car ready for March 1st!  I also started collecting change, you know, to pay for it haha.  So far I have $12.87 !!!

This is me in 20 yrs if I don't have surgery!

Check this out... me in 20 years if I don't get my ACL repaired.  This guy had a surgery that failed back in like 1979, and then never got the failed surgery repaired.  I can already feel my bones locking together like that, leaning into the inside... and I don't even have a meniscus like this guy to cushion the blow!  Check out the nasty arthritis!  Thank God I live in the USA where surgery is constantly getting better, and this kind of stuff can be repaired!



I just saw my future :(

My mom took me shopping yesterday, which was awsome.  I was trying to find some really comfy sweat pants, you know, for those two weeks or so when the stitches hurt like a b word and they get stuck on everything and your knee is too swollen for jeans...

We of course got side tracked in the victoria's secret, but then I saw my future.  This poor guy was hobbling around on crutches, with a nasty knee brace on his left knee.  Aw man it looked so painful.  Suckity Suck Suck.  And I looked at my mom and said, "well, there goes me in about a month." 

:(  Sad.

Money Matters

As most of you know, I have an ACL reconstruction surgery scheduled for March 1st.  There are several goods and bads that are going to come with this surgery, but mainly this is the list:
Goods:
1.  I will finally have a stable knee!

Bads:
1.   6 months with no riding.
2.   Terrible Pain
3.   Problems taking care of / training my horse
4.  Money matters

The 6 months no riding will be hard, but duable.  I'll be in too much pain for the first few moonths to even think about it.  The taking care of my horse is manageable... friends and family will come around.  But the money... BIG PROBLEM!  My deductible is $2,000, and then after that I pay 20%, up to a max of $2,000 more.  And that doesn't include physical therapy.  I know, your probably thinking, its only $4000, right?  FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS!  I'm pretty much freaking out because I owe on my student loans (way more than 4000) and I owe for the tires I had to by a few months back, and now this.  And to top it all off, I still have not gotten a raise.  7 months at the same office, and not even a 10 cent raise.  Cheap company.  Sooo... If anyone knows of a good fund raising idea... let me know!  I'm pretty desperate at this point, and getting ready to clean up the 4Runner to sell it and pay the up front deductible.  :(  sad day.

(As seen on http://www.homegrownheart.blogspot.com/)